a severe mercy.

“A loving Purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.”
-Elisabeth Elliot

We pray for mercy. Often without fully realizing what we’re asking. We have a picture in our minds of mercy. Kind, gentle, tender mercy. And God gives us that. More than we can ever comprehend. Moment by moment we are sustained by His mercy.

But I’m learning of another kind of mercy. One that feels severe. Our Father takes something from us that we want. Something we love more than Him. Something our flesh will not let go of. Or He withholds something that we long for. Something we long for more than we long for Him, if we’re honest.

We feel like we’re spinning, trying to understand why things happen the way they do. Why things are withheld. Given and taken away. Like children. Kicking, screaming, crying, questioning. Do we long for the severe mercy? I don’t. I don’t always long for it. I often long for the mercy that’s gentle. That feels good. That isn’t painful. That gives me what I want. But the severe mercy doesn’t give us what we want.
It gives us what we need.

We see it in the Old Testament. Over and over the people of God long for and go after the desires of their flesh. But He pursues them. He is often severe in the way He pursues them. But He pursues them and He draws them to Himself. The same is true with us. This mercy flows from a Love that is so deep, so perfectly faithful, that it will bring pain for a moment to send us running to His arms.

How do we know we can trust Him when His mercy seems severe? We must know Him. To know Him is to trust Him. His Word promises that “for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purposes.”
(Romans 8:28)

When He withholds, it is for good. When He takes away, it’s for good.

The more we know of our Father, the more our hearts learn to trust Him. The more we trust Him, the less we doubt Him. When mercy is poured out on our lives, mercy that feels severe enough to crush us, something happens for those who trust Him. This mercy overcomes our flesh and drives us to our knees, melting our hard hearts and causing us to long for our Savior. We see that we have clung so tightly to the things of this world, trying, trying, trying to be filled by them. But it’s impossible. And this is the beauty. We find Him to be sufficient. We find that nothing compares to Him. We taste. We see. He is good. We find peace after the spinning. We see behind the severity the kindness of a Father who will not let His children set their hearts on this world.
What mercy.

“Good and upright is the Lord;

therefore He instructs sinners in the way.

He leads the humble in what is right,

and teaches the humble His way.

All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,

for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.”

Psalm 25:8-10

God is using the book "A Severe Mercy" by Sheldon Vanauken to teach me of His mercy sometimes displayed through severity. I haven't finished reading it so I can't completely recommend it, but so far it's really good. :)