how wonderful to need Him

Do we need God? Of course, we do. We answer that question quickly and confidently, don’t we? But do we love that we need Him? Are we thankful for our great need of Him?

We need God for every breath we breathe.

We need His provision. We need His protection.

We need His wisdom, His grace, His mercy.

We need His salvation and redemption and justice.

On and on and on it goes.

We need God for every single detail of our lives.

But do we love to need God?

Do we love knowing we are so very dependent on Him?

My life often reflects that I don’t love that need.

The past few months of being back in America have been hard. I’ve needed my Father in more ways that I ever could have imagined. People have asked me so many times if I’ve experienced culture shock being back here.

No. Not at all, to be honest.

I was only in India for 6 months.

I’ve lived in America my whole life.

Not much has changed in 6 months.

Not much here is too terribly shocking.

But my heart has been hurting.

The hardest part is missing my friends in India.

I miss the ladies who were like family to me...

I miss their laughter.

I miss their little houses where I felt so at home.

I miss them making fun of my terrible Hindi.

I miss them braiding my hair.

I miss cups of chai and peanuts on the floor with them.

I miss seeing their eyes light up as they hear

things they’ve never heard before.

I miss them singing, singing, singing

(complete with hand motions!).

I miss them taking my hand in theirs

as we visit people in the slum.

I hate not seeing them everyday.

I miss them. I miss them terribly.

I miss our Dadee...

I miss giving her water and

seeing a smile spread across her beautiful, wrinkled face.

I miss her songs.

I miss the way she knew who I was even though she is blind. Even when I never said a word,

somehow she knew it was me.

I miss her.

I miss my little Sana girl...

I miss being greeted by her each day in the slum.

I miss holding her tiny little frame in my lap all day long.

I miss putting an earbud in her ear

so we can listen to music together.

I miss her laughter....oh, how I miss that!

I miss taking her little brown hand in my big white one.

I miss being able to physically show her that she is loved. 

Many days, I miss her much more than I ever thought it was possible to miss someone.

I miss my American friends who live in India...

I miss laughing with them.

I miss living life with them, Indian style.

I miss sharing things with them that only India-dwelling people can understand. 

I miss trips to Costa and "motorcycle" rides with them.

I miss them.

And yet I’m here.

So many miles away from India that I can’t even begin to tell you just how far it is.

I look at a map and see the tiny dot of our city.

And that little dot means so much.

It represents a city filled with people.

People I love.

People I miss.

For two months, I’ve been back in the States.

I’ve needed Him desperately. Completely. Absolutely.

In every single way.

The sadness in my heart over leaving India combined with not knowing what is next has been hard.

At first, I didn’t want to need God that much. It was too hard.

But He has taught me that needing Him is oh so good.

Over the past two months, He has faithfully brought me to my knees before Him again and again.

Confessing my great need for Him.

Here in the States and there in India. I need Him.

As God has shown me my great need for Him,

He’s met me there.

Providing just what He knows I need.

God has shown me over and over exactly who He is.

He meets every need in ways only

a perfectly loving Father can.

Not only does He provide comfort – He is comfort.

Not only does He provide peace – He is peace

Not only does He provide a home – He is our home.

And God understands. Oh, He understands it all!

He does not for one moment leave us or forsake us.

In our uncertainty, He is always certain.

He is a good, good Father.

And so needing Him is good.

God has faithfully brought me to a place

of loving my great need for Him.

It is worth every hard season we could ever face to know the absolute sufficiency of our Father.

I love to need Him.

How wonderful it is to need Him.

“Make me to know Your ways, O Lord;

teach me your paths.

Lead me in Your Truth and teach me,

for You are the God of my salvation;

for You I wait all the day long.”

Psalm 25:4-5